The Apprentice of Agnes Moorehead






Agnes Moorhead
The Apprentice of Agnes Moorehead




Steve Treatment will always be remembered for his classic singles from the late 70’s but his best songs never got released. The NoMen got in touch with him in 2003 and were given access to his archive of home recordings. They released their first collection of Steve Treatment songs in 2003 and in 2006 returned to the pile and came out with this album.


Download Agnes Moorehead album
Agnes Moorhead was an American actress best known for her role in ‘Bewitched’. Steve was obsessed with making smutty jokes about her surname and he named the album which was originally released as a very limited edition CD featuring the NoMen album plus a companion CD which had recordings of the same songs (and more) by Steve himself.

The whole album was recorded at a time when there were only two NoMen; George and Allan. It was recorded using Garageband and relied heavily on the built in drum sounds of the programme. Unfortunately the only ‘beat’ we were able to play along with was the ‘standard 4/4 rock beat’ which is used on every other track!!! Despite this the album has a rich and varied sound and the songs vary from tender ballads to out-and-out freak-outs with some good old fashioned rock’n’rolling and psychedelic soundscapes! Download Agnes Moorehead album

Vanish – This is the same version that is on Steve Treatment’s 2005 single on Topplers but this has NoMen doing the vocals.
The World is Blue – A really old song by Steve. The NoMen edited it down from the 9 minutes of Steve’s original to about three! It’s a sweet blend of pop and smooth tijuana horns!
Are You Cunning? – A throwaway sketch on one of the recent Steve Treatment demo tapes. The NoMen rock it up!
The Shine on Your Crown – One of Steve’s loveliest songs… for his partner. The NoMen add extra sugar!
Ingrowing Toenail – An absolute classic from Steve’s early years. The NoMen ladle on the T Rex sound and go all Shakin’ Stevens on the vocals!!! It has the ubiquitous backwards guitar solo!
Two Brothers – Steve wrote this for his friends Nikki Sudden and Epic Soundtracks from Swell Maps shortly after Nikki’s death in 2005. Once again the NoMen go all Rock’nRoll guitar hero after a folky intro!
I Hate Reunions – Sweet, semi-psychedelic ballad. Similar in sound to Black Sabbath’s ‘Planet Caravan’ from the Paranoid album!
I Don’t Cry at Funerals – Another newish song. Kind of a garage rock thing…
7 Day Psalm – samples, loops and lashings of echo… more sonic weirdness from the NoMen. Brian NoMan pitched in with the loops and some guitar on this track.
The Treatment – another version of a song from the Steve Treatment 7″ on Topplers, although this was one of Steve’s earliest songs. The NoMen do this in a velvety latin style!!!
All My Friends Are in the News – Another of Steve’s sweet ballads.
Cabinet of Disciples – this is an almighty noise… but sometimes that is what the NoMen do best!
(+bonus track!)


Download Agnes Moorehead album


Greatest Hits Volume One!

More stuff from the archive. This was released in 2003 on a limited edition CD (I think there were only 50 made) and sent out to ‘fans’ of the band. At the time of it’s release IKEA were selling cardboard CD sleeves with a neat little pull out section. They obviously weren’t a big seller as they were in the sale at 50p for a packet of 10! I bought hundreds of them!!! Download HitsVol One!

Greatest Hits Volume 1

The NoMen’s Greatest Hits was packaged in the Ikea boxes with an A3 insert with pictures and a long essay detailing the history of the band and something about each song. When we distributed them we simply stuck an address label on the front, sealed it with a sticker, stuck on a stamp and posted it… Perfect!

These tracks show the NoMen at their innocent and enthusiastic best covering songs by Swell Maps, Steve Treatment, Cult Figures, TVP, O Level, Desperate Bicycles, Thomas Leer etc. Although primitively recorded the sound is vibrant and captures the moment perfectly! The band’s motto was “knock ’em out fast… they’re not meant to last!”

Download HitsVol One!

Contains 15 tracks and JPEG images of the information poster.

The Egg Store Ilk!

Download The NoMen’s version of Egg Store Ilk

In 2005 The NoMen recorded a selection of tracks by Richard Earl who was the guitarist with Swell Maps. Although the Swell Maps were known for their punky DIY guitars and thrashing drums Richard’s album (from 1981) was an altogether stranger and gentler sound. “The Egg Store Ilk‘ was the only solo album made by Richard Earl before he left the music world and concentrated on doing up classic cars!

The original album was released in 1981 on the Pilot label (through Rough Trade) but it has never been rereleased on CD and rarely crops up on eBay.
More about the original album here…

Download The NoMen’s version of the album…

I’ve always had a soft spot for this NoMen recording. None of us were very familiar with the album which I’d just bought on eBay! The sound on the original would have been impossible to recreate but we came up with something that went beyond being a ‘cover version’ and took on a life of it’s own. The overall sound is really fresh and bright although the songs themselves are fairly dark and moody… Cal’s singing (or screaming) on some tracks is frightening! We didn’t have any drums in 2005 and all the percussion and the saxophone came from the Early Learning Centre! An acoustic bass borrowed from Nyah Fearties also give the album a more organic sound.
We had great fun doing this session, which I seem to remember was all done on one afternoon, and I think we did something as different and challenging as the original!
Allan NoMan


Back to the Start!!

Today we are uploading the very first NoMen recording. ‘The Keys to Talgarth Road’ is a collection of Steve Tretment songs arranged and played by the NoMen.


The Keys to Talgarth Road CD

Steve Treatment was one of the pioneers of DIY punk in the late seventies and the three 7″ singles he release at that time are all time classics. Steve’s early recordings can be purchased on a double CD released by Hyped2Death Records and his recordings from 2003 onwards are available on Topplers Records.

This download includes sleeve notes and photos which were not on the 2003 CD.


Half Satan

This isn’t really the NoMen but at least two members of the NoMen were involved!


Recorded in 2005 or 2006, we never knew what do do with this dark, brooding and slightly disturbing soundscape. 5 years later it sounds like the best album ever! It was originally recorded, edited and mixed as one continuous piece lasting 33.3 minutes (half of 666 = Half Satan!) Somewhere along the line we have lost about 4 minutes as this version only lasts 29 minites and 20 seconds! If we find the missing minutes I will repost the album!

It sounds electronic but is actually recorded with standard electric guitars and all sorts of found percussion . The distinctive sizzling sound is a potato scone being fried!

Here is a video which might make up for the missing 4 mins!!!